I feel like it’s the first day of school and I don’t know anyone. Or, in this case, there’s no one at school except a tumbleweed. And the tumbleweed is ignoring me.
I’m Dan. I teach high school. I write stories. I want to keep writing them. So, I wrote two novels in the last year. Agents tell me I need an online presence. I need to be Twittering inside stranger’s phones; I need to Instagram all over your Facebook. I must be shoving TinyUrls into my friend’s messages until I am recognizable as a person on the internet.
So, here I am. A blogger. And I picked the free blogging website because I don’t know how it works. Maybe I’ll upgrade when I figure out how this all works and the tumbleweed starts to acknowledge me.
I write a lot. I’m planning novel number four as my two of my other novels are being bounced around between agents and publishers. My motto: keep writing and keep slinging the stories at people until someone says, “Hey, I don’t hate you. And this story about the boxer who killed himself really wriggled inside me and tickled my feels. Here’s a sack of money.”
The sack of money will be labeled with $$$.
I’m going to use this webpage to post stories that are eventually going to be part of a humor-oriented project called Mind the Gap. Basically, I tell stories that are supposed to be funny but they all relate to how I’ve failed and how I’ve missed the essential step between understanding and . . . falling into the speeding rail-train. . . . because that’s what people love. Death. And reading about it.
My goal is to post one story a week until all internet searches bring up this blog. (I don’t even know what “blog” means. I also don’t know how internet searching works. This will certainly be a success.)
JUST LOOK AT ME, YOU DAMN TUMBLEWEED.